high people should be assigned attendants
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
