I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
