either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
