he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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