So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
