so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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