Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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