The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
