Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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