I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
