Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
