I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize