watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
