Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
