Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize