What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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