walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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