So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
