Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
