My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
