p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All the doctor said was why
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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