my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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