It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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