Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
