Your face is a jimmy john
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
