he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
