i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
