it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
