Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
