I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
