Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
