i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
