Jerry, you need to find god
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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