Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
