There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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