True but thats because hes a fetus.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We named our party play list daddy issues
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
