is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
