now i know why i became what i already was.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
