I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
