Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
