last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We left the knife in your bed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
