thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize