i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
