let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Bring me that man meat
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize