Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
