Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
