i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just high enough for therapy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
