I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize