If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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