id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
