so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
