my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
