if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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