i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need water and some morals
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