week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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