i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
