have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
