I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize