I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Barsexuality is the new black.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize