Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
