The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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