I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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