Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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